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Because who couldn't afford to lose a few charisma points, this is the Crit Success d20 Banded Trilby hat designed and sold by ThinkGeek. It costs $30, is made of straw just like the first little pig's house, and has a band printed with d20s around the brim. Would you look good in it? Of course you would. Would anybody else? Not a chance. That's the thing about you -- your charisma is already off the charts. Just listen to my charisma detector when I wave it front of you. *beep beep beep beep beep* See? Off the charts. "Is that a pager?" LEARN HOW TO TAKE A COMPLIMENT.

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Keep going for a closeup in case you wanted to know if the d20s on the band are embroidered or printed. *slaps back of head* They're printed, just like I said in the article.

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This is a ten minute video of Destin from Smarter Every Day discussing how a lawnmower is able to cut something as easily bendable as grass, with such a relatively dull metal blade (albeit spinning incredibly fast). I think I learned something. Maybe? "Have you ever?" Only how not to learn from mistakes.

A lawnmower blade is different [than scissors]...there's no opposing blades, it's like an open-ended system ...a massive blade with a lot of inertia and it swings along really fast and it hits the grass but the grass is so lightweight it kind of just moves out of the way

So how does a lawnmower cut grass? SPOILER: The bent tabs on the ends of a lawnmower's blades actually create lift on the grass, so they're being pulled upwards (like a barber pulling your hair taught) while they're cut below. Science! Of course if you asked my dad how lawnmowers work he'd tell you it's by yelling at me enough to finally go push it around the yard.

Keep going for the video while I go cut the grass in flip-flops until my mom comes out and yells at me, hopefully with some lemon-lime Gatorade.

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Diadora Gray" - V7000 DIADORA V7000 Premium "Light Gray" Diadora - 22d2ac9 - obligatory.website Whoa: A Trippy 'Glitch' Video Of A Stroll Down A Parisian Street July 6, 2018

This is a trippy Instagram video created by Benjamin Bardou of a stroll down a Parisian side-street that's been augmented with glitchy compression artifacts and lidar effects (an object detection system that works like radar except using laser light instead of radio waves). I felt like I was walking through an impressionist painting. Wait, was I just walking through an impressionist painting? "No." I was! And you were there -- we'd just left the most delightful little cafe and...we were holding hands! "What are you talking about?" It was the most beautiful Paris night, just after it rains and, wait a second -- you're not her. But I thought-- "GW? Are you okay?" Hold on, hold on, I'm not to the part where I turn into a werewolf yet.

Keep going for the video.

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Diadora Gray" - V7000 DIADORA V7000 Premium "Light Gray" Diadora - 22d2ac9 - obligatory.website Furniture Maker Demonstrates His Rotating, Expanding Table July 6, 2018

This is a video of furniture maker George Johnson of Johnson Furniture demonstrating the first rotating, expanding dining table he ever built. It's similar in design to this previously posted $50,000 rotating, expanding dining table, except George's requires an extra step of folding the six leaves out. Would I still eat $42 of Burger King on it in one sitting? Challenge accepted. "That wasn't a challenge." You drive a hard bargain, but deal, I'll also do a six pack of Cinnabons for dessert. "There's no deal!" The full size ones, not the minis.

Keep going for the whole video while I call George and tell him to rack up some beer pong.

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Diadora Gray" - V7000 DIADORA V7000 Premium "Light Gray" Diadora - 22d2ac9 - obligatory.website Guy Builds A Functional LEGO Technic Metronome July 6, 2018
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This is a video demonstration of the LEGO Technic metronome built by Mr. Smith of Youtube channel Mr. Smith's LEGO Models. It even has an adjustable scale you can change by sliding the weight (in this case a Technic car wheel) down the pendulum. For those of you unfamiliar, a metronome is a gnome that lives in the city, unlike its country garden dwelling brethren. "You're a hoot, GW." Trust me, your parents are going to love that one.

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Keep going for the video while I reminisce fondly about putting a banana on the metronome Jojo the monkey uses to play the piano in the Bloody Lip Bar And Grill on Scabb Island in Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge so he freezes and you can put him in your pocket and SPOILER: later use him as a monkey wrench to stop the waterfall and uncover the passage to Rum Roger Jr.'s cottage on Phatt Island and collect another map piece.

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Diadora Gray" - V7000 DIADORA V7000 Premium "Light Gray" Diadora - 22d2ac9 - obligatory.website Now You're Talking My Language: Launching An 80-Pound Anvil At A Drone With Explosives July 6, 2018

This is a video of the fun-loving folks at Youtube channel Essential Craftsman launching an 80 pound (~36 kilogram) anvil from a 150 pound (~68 kilogram) anvil launchpad with a pound of black powder in an attempt to come as close to a flying drone as possible. Obviously, I like where this is going. "You're gonna get yourself killed, GW." Please, the fact I'm still here today is a testament to my immortality. God has a plan for me, and from what I've gathered that plan is some sort of case study on the perseverance of the human spirit in the face of max level suffering. Besides, I feel like I need to do this. Where is having a kickass good time on Maslow's hierarchy of needs anyways? Because I feel like it should be at the very bottom along with breathing and someone you care about fiddling with you privates like a fidget spinner.

Keep going for the video as well as a previous one they did last year. Also, props to these guys being so chill.

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Diadora Gray" - V7000 DIADORA V7000 Premium "Light Gray" Diadora - 22d2ac9 - obligatory.website A Homemade 4-Foot NERF Inspired Rocket Launcher That Shoots Pool Noodles July 5, 2018

Because everybody has to die somehow, this is a video of the testing of a NERF rocket launcher that shoots foam darts made out of pool noodles with PVC pipe endcaps for tips. From watching, I'm pretty sure it's just a fancy looking potato cannon. Regardless, they use it to destroy a foam mannequin head, a watermelon, and an X-Box 360. Of course it would probably do a lot less damage if it were just a sealed pool noodle without the PVC endcap tip. I'm not saying I'd take a plain pool noodle to the belly, but I would take four to the face simultaneously because that's just the sort of man that I am. "An idiot." In the absolute purest sense of the word.

Keep going for the video.

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Diadora Gray" - V7000 DIADORA V7000 Premium "Light Gray" Diadora - 22d2ac9 - obligatory.website CEO Of Drone Company Uses Custom Drone To Toilet Paper The COO's House July 5, 2018

This is a video of 20-year old Teal Drone CEO George Matus using a custom drone he built to toilet paper his company's chief operating officer Billy McGuire's house to celebrate his two year work anniversary. But I thought paper was traditionally the one year anniversary gift? I'm pretty sure two is supposed to be cotton, so a good old-fashioned wedgie would have been more appropriate. But what do I know? I'm just a man who celebrates every colleague's work anniversary by getting them drunk and trying to convince them to quit. "How's that working out for you?" I have three people sleeping on my couch right now.

Keep going for the video while I email George and inform him that, while the drone is impressive, two rolls is hardly a sufficient toilet papering job. Also to find out if this drone is suitable for wiping.

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